Permit me a little rant, my dear readers.
It’s hard to read so many statuses, see so many pictures, read so many articles about the suffering in Palestine, and feel helpless to change it. It’s hard to know that I have the loftiest dreams of changing the world, but at the moment am just trying to keep my personal life together, my academic life intact. It’s hard seeing the great injustices of the world, of seeing one big system of hate, racism and exploitation that kills babies and ruins families while I am powerless to do anything about it. Indeed, it seems that our societies have raised us to be silent against the evils of the world. You’re a nerd if you care about the plight of the Palestinians, if you’re aware of the horror that was inflicted upon the Iraqis, Libyans, Afghans, Chileans, Philippines, Korea or any other country touched by the ravages of capitalist imperialism. It’s hard to sit back and ignore the cries of the oppressed, at the risk in our societies of being laughed at, scorned and shunned. It’s difficult to have a conscience, to have a sense of right and wrong, in a world that seems to be floundering without a moral or logical compass. It’s hard to know that millions of people work long hours for starvation wages at Walmart so that the Walton family can have more money than they could ever ever hope to spend. It’s had to know that America is paying for the bombs that are dropping on Palestine right now, and seeing the face of the father, holding his 11 month old son with a look of pain and agony I never wish to know on his face. It’s hard to know that the US is supporting the terrorists in Syria, and condemns the government of Syria for defending itself against terrorists who have torn the country apart, all the while they support the incredibly inhumane treatment of Palestinians. It’s hard knowing that Israel can get away with anything, call it self defense and be viewed as heroes even while they commit crimes against humanity. It’s hard for me to think that so many Americans rejoiced in the election of yet another capitalist imperialist warmonger, as if all their problems were solved and the world was right again. It’s hard to know that the voices of nationalist vitriol are growing louder over all the world, and the small voices of internationalist working class people cannot be heard above the din. It’s hard knowing that the US spends hundreds of billions of dollars a year on war, but can’t afford college for the poor, or even food for the starving. It’s fucking hard to think that here in 2012 we as the human race cannot seem to rise above our petty differences, cannot set our priorities straight, cannot seem to progress beyond the level of primal savagery. It’s hard to think that we can send men to the moon, but can’t feed the world. It’s sad to think that we can cure a myriad diseases, but cannot for the life of us figure out how to bridge gaps, unite humanity and move forward. It’s sad that we are still tied up over the myth of race, the myth of nation and the myth of religion more than the reality of humanity before us.
It’s difficult to think that my voice is one lost in a cacophony of hate, and may never see the light of day.
It’s difficult to think that I can’t make a difference, that things won’t get better, that we will never solve our problems, that we will never end the pain so many of us humans live in from day to day.
Too difficult in fact, because I won’t. I won’t think that. I will grieve for the state of the world, I will hope for a better future, I will work day by day, to be a better person, to continue my education, to do what I can, to speak out about how I think and feel. I will fuck up a lot, I will have days where I am so depressed I can barely make it out of bed, but I will not fucking give in to the overwhelming pessimism threatening to take the world down to the seventh level of hell. I will not give in to hopelessness. I will take my licks and keep on kicking. Maybe I don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. Maybe my voice is drowned out by the load of bullshit swirling through the media outlets of the world. Maybe tomorrow will just be another day of struggling to survive. Even if all that is the case, I will not give up. I will not give up because the moment I give up, I am truly